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Oktoberfest Festmaster Mike Keil and Maple Leaf Array Align Neil Duresky are authoritative the voting blab battles angry in Florida, Georgia, Arizona and California attending like well-oiled, smooth-running machines, compared with the escapade they are affairs with their fundraising referendum.

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Keil’s and Duresky’s “Herr Today, Gone Tomorrow” referendum, which they launched during Oktoberfest, way aback on Sept. 26, was appointed to blanket up Oct. 31. Again it got pushed aback until Nov. 6, Acclamation Day, to bout all the added political contests beyond the nation.

Votes were to be casting with dollars, and the affair charcoal whether they will get haircuts, as both charge one. Truth be told, Keil requires a lock chop abundant added than Duresky, whose crew can be alleged a crew afterwards behind French President Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric Macron. Keil generally tries a ponytail to access his graying hairs.

After he abhorred again attempts to attach bottomward the results, Keil accepted via argument Wednesday that, afterwards counting conditional ballots, the account is 863 votes (dollars) to cut their beard and 746 (dollars) to accumulate it.

However, he whined Thursday that, although the accepted vote may accept to accept advantaged cutting, the votes still bare to run through the balloter college, which ability change what won.

That has a accustomed ring, no?

“As you recall, the accepted vote didn’t beggarly as abundant in this referendum,” he said, with a accent of aloof denial. “This was all about the money, and the cardinal of participants is the important thing.”

In short, he intimated, if beneath bodies absolutely donated added money for cutting, again a headcount would acreage on the ancillary of befitting their hair.

If Keil’s discourse is starting to complete like he rips it from circadian headlines, he as abundant as accepted that back he accustomed that he’s been able to aces up the avoid factors alone by account the newspaper.

So far, about the alone acclamation affair he hasn’t acclimated to alibi the delays is the abeyant for blind chads, the above snag in the 2000 presidential that appropriate Supreme Court action and still blaze debate.

“Neil and I are evaluating our options,” he said. “That’s the way things go.”

He threatened to accompany in acknowledged admonition to ascertain the acceptation of a “corporate haircut.”

“In Burlington, Vermont, a accumulated crew could accommodate a ponytail,” he said, adopting the catechism of what the Green Mountain State has to do with it.

Despite his hemming and hawing, Keil hinted that he and Duresky ability bandy in the atom anhydrate and get haircuts afore the abutting array season, which additionally is a moveable feast, like aggregate abroad in this acclamation charade.

Meanwhile, let’s accept that the money aloft — theoretically, 863 dollars additional 746 dollars for a absolute of 1,609 bucks — is actuality captivated in escrow for the three charities appointed and beneficiaries: The Gemütlichkeit Foundation, which is the accommodating arm of La Crosse Festivals Inc.; the La Crosse Public Education Foundation, and the Parenting Place.

Those who still appetite to vote — why not breach the deadlines, if Keil and Duresky can wreak calamity with their own acrimony of the acclamation rules? — can address checks to The Gemütlichkeit Foundation and accelerate them to the foundation, c/o Oktoberfest, P.O. Box 1716, La Crosse, WI 54602.

Mike Tighe can be accomplished at [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>, or chase him on Twitter at @necktye.

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